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Dr. Chisato

Let's talk about Passive Aggressive Communication Style

Updated: May 2, 2023

For the past 2 weeks, we have chatted about communication styles.

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A quick reminder. Aggressive communication tends to start with "you", tend to be loud, and cut off the other person while they are speaking (so not listening).

The image that I have a cactus!


For passive communication, the person does not say anything, or when they do, they just say "sure" and not really express what they are actually thinking/feeling.

They tend to be quieter, and shut down.

The image in my mind for this communication style is a wall.

The third type is called passive-aggressive communication.  For passive aggressive communication, it is kind of a blend of passive and aggressive communication.

Basically, the person says things in a round about way...

For example, someone may say something like "You know.. some people would say that you are being rude and a bad friend."

Or as a friend used to say, "oh my goodness , you are so brave to wear that. I wouldn't be caught dead wearing that, but YOU are so brave."

Or someone that says, "it's ok that you didn't remember my birthday. I'm used to you doing that."


I imagine a mask... we don't know what is behind the mask!
The pro that people say is that they are still saying something so they are not completely shut down! The con is that again, no actual communication takes place and our desires are still not met. No connection is happening.

Can you think of any other pros and cons to this communication style? :)

Until next time, for now, let's jump into this week's Therapist Mama Bear tip!



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