Two more types of boundaries to chat about!
Reminder: Some of this information is from https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/boundaries-psychoeducation-printout
The next one is material boundaries.
What do you think of when you think of Material boundaries?
Material boundaries refer to money and possessions. Healthy material boundaries involve setting limits on what you will share, and with whom.
For example, it may be appropriate to lend a car to a family member, but probably not to someone you met this morning.
Material boundaries are violated when someone steals or damages another person's possessions, or when they pressure them to give or lend them their possessions.
Let's relate back to the closeness of boundaries to this!
What would a porous material boundary look like?
What would a rigid material boundary look like? What would a healthy material boundary look like?
For example, a porous material boundary may be always paying for others. I will be absolutely honest and say this is something that I used to struggle with. I would pay for everything for anyone, and felt weird when I didn't. I have gotten a lot better about it, slowly! Does that mean that I don't pay for others? No, I do. But, it is not every time I go out and it is not for things that are super expensive. And i choose to pay for people I care about, and not for others who are there because they are there.
A rigid material boundary may be someone who never shared anything. Kind of like... "That's my toilet paper, thank you."
Remember!
What is healthy, rigid or porous in our material boundaries (or any type!) depends on your comfort level, the relationship you have with that person, etc. what is healthy for your relationship with your significant other is different from your supervisor at work. It may even be different depending on your friendship/relationship with others too!
Until next time, for now, let's jump into this week's Therapist Mama Bear tip!
Extra tip: once you think of your material boundaries with them, are they porous, rigid or healthy? If they are rigid or porous, what can you do to move them to the opposite side a bit to make them a little healthier?
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