As many of you know, I have been with my husband for a bit of time.
When we found out our twin boys were on the autism spectrum, we had a long discussion, which also included how we are going to stay connected as a couple while being the best parents and supports we can be for our boys.
Now, years later, we are at a pretty good place in how we are with our relationship.
So let's chat a bit about how to keep our connection going while we are also caregivers/parents!
1. Make time for each other. Caregiving and parenting can be a full-time job. AND it’s important to make time for your relationship.
Yuki and I do something called "In door date nights" every day. That just simply means that we eat at home together after the boys have gone to sleep, and check in with each other. We ask each other, "what is a highlight and low light of your day today?"
2. Communicate openly. Talk about your feelings and needs, and be honest with each other.
I wrote about communication a bit ago on here- one of the things to remember is that they are not your enemy- they are your team mate! I know sometimes, it is easy for us to get stuck in the "well, this is the way we should be doing this certain thing." And... the truth is, there are many roads to get to our goals. So discuss what each of your goals are for the relationship, caregiving, etc. and see how you can work together to get to the goals.
3. Show appreciation. Show your partner that you appreciate their help and support.
What is your love language? What is their love language? (I will write about love languages soon so keep your eye out if you are not sure!) How do they feel loved? It is helpful to know that to show your appreciation. And... A simple thank you or a hug can be huge!
With these in mind, let's jump into our weekly Therapist Mama Bear Tip!
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