When you think about friendship- what comes to mind?
What are some words that you say about your friends? What are some words that they may say about you?
Sometimes, it is easier for us to be friends with others, when they are not really our friend. For example, I had a client years ago where he got up super early to help his friend move, drove for about 2 hours one way, helped to put everything in, drove to Costco and helped them shop and came back... and in return, got told that he was not doing enough, or that he wasn't good enough.
I remember asking him, "so... what does this friend bring to the table? How is this person a friend?"
as we chatted about it, I then asked, "if you were your friend, what would you say to yourself about this other friend?" He said quickly, "that this isn't a healthy friendship and that I deserve better." His look of shock in his face is something that I don't think I will ever forget.
It is easy to forget to be our own friend.
To remind ourselves that we are actually worthy of positive friends. To be cared about, and to care for ourselves. That it is ok to allow ourselves to say "No" and set boundaries. It is so hard, and it is ok.
Until next time, for now, let's jump into this week's Therapist Mama Bear tip!
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