“But Chisato, what can I do?” This is a question. I get asked a lot, especially because a lot of my work has been with children in youth. Many family members and loved ones don’t know what to do in supporting their loved ones through their depression, leading to a feeling of hopelessness. Many times, they can feel frustrated at themselves or their loved ones. Sometimes, that can lead to arguments, the loved one pushing them away, etc.
Supporting a friend or loved one with depression can be tough, but just being there for them can make a world of difference. Depression isn’t just about feeling sad; it’s a deep sense of hopelessness that can affect everything in their life. The best thing you can do is listen without judgment. Let them talk about how they’re feeling, even if it’s hard to fully understand. You don’t need to have all the answers—what matters most is that they know you care and that they’re not alone. This be a hard thing, because when we love someone, we want what’s best for them. One of the things I encourage people to remember, including myself, isn’t that our review of what is best for them, may not be the same as their view of what is best for them. Lending an ear, and really hearing what they are saying is something that is so difficult, but it’s also so helpful.
Gently suggest they consider professional help, but don’t push too hard. It’s important to approach the topic with kindness, offering to help them find a therapist or support group if they’re open to it. And don’t forget to take care of yourself, too. Supporting someone with depression can be emotionally draining, so it’s crucial to have your own support system and set healthy boundaries. Sometimes, if we push too hard, it can sound like a threat or an attack. So discuss this with them for a place of worry and empathy.
With this in mind, let’s jump into this week’s Therapist Mama Bear tip!
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