Let's chat about grief

Many of you know that I lost my father in 2020.

It was a hard time for myself and my family, especially since it was so sudden. He collapsed one day and never woke up. It was absolutely awful. We miss him dearly. I miss his humor, his laugh, his wisdom, his support and his love, especially for my boys.

In my life time, I have lot quite a few loved ones. I lost one of my best friends, who I grew up with (over 30 years!) passed away in 2022. Although we were very different, I called her my sister- whether we spoke or not, I loved her. I still do, very much. I miss her every day.

To me, grief is like a life long friend. Never really far away- sometimes, it's huge and engulfs me, and sometimes, it's a tiny little friend that perches on my shoulder.

Many times, what is tough about grief is that there are misconceptions about it. One of the big ones is that there is a timeline on grief and how we should grieve.

The truth is, there is no time line. There is also no right or wrong way to grieve.

For example, some people thatI know went to anger. Their grief turned to anger and they would escalate to anger quickly and yell easily.

For me, I went into protective mode- how will my mom survive? How will my brother be ok? how will my kids be ok? How will my friend's family be ok? etc etc.

Some people went into crying and screaming.

Some people retreated into themselves until they felt ok enough to come out.

There are so many ways to grieve.

It's been years since some of my losses. There are still moments that I think about my loved ones with a twinge in my heart. there are moments where I tear up, and there are some moments where the memories make me smile.

And that's OKAY.

If you are grieving- as long as you are not hurting yourself or others, give yourself grace.

I will also say that when we think of grief, many times, we think of physical death. However, there are many types of grief. It can be a death of a relationship. A death of what we thought would be. Etc etc.

So my little reminder to all of you, dear readers. If you are grieving, in any way, be kind to yourself. Reach out to your loved ones that understand and can support you (if that would be helpful). Your grief- whatever it is- is relevant.

With that in mind, let's jump into this week's Therapist Mama Bear Tip!