This post was inspired by Mel, a wonderful follower on Facebook! Thank you for your suggestion!
Think of a difficult moment that you have had or been through. It can be about yourself or with another person.
I have honestly had quite a few myself.
One of the hardest moment for us and the boys was when we went through our loss. You see, in December of 2020, someone who was very close to the boys and one of our biggest supports passed. It was sudden and we could not prepare the boys. It was so hard for them to understand that this person was not coming back.
Once they understood, to the best of their ability at that time, it was really hard. Yuri would cry for them, saying "please come back." He would ask, "is this person ok? Are they sad in the sky?" Aki would become angry and would not be able to verbalize what is happening- one day, I asked him, "baby.. are you upset because you miss this person?" His face dropped and said, "yes." He would look up at the sky and ask for them.
We would explain that this person is "in the sky " and "is always watching us." That they still love us very much and they have their parents with them. That they can't come back because it's a one way street... and that it is absolutely ok to cry, be sad, be mad, miss them... however they feel, it is totally ok. We normalized and continue to do so.
Now, a few years later, We are all doing well. We miss this person and speak about them openly, and the boys know that this person is not coming back... we have to wait to go to that side a veeeeerrryyyyy long time from now, hopefully. And until then, we let them know that we just will keep living the best life that we can, be as happy as can be and that in the moments where we feel sad/mad/etc. to honor that.
We each have a little teddy bear made from that persons clothes to hold, so they hug that or look up to the sky and talk to them at times.
Acknowledging the feelings, normalizing them and simply letting it be, is so hard, and is so important at the same time.
With that in mind, for now, let's jump into this week's Therapist Mama Bear tip!
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